Rank my marriage?

The happy couple

It's wedding season. 

This past weekend Kelli and I were so happy to witness two friends of ours become married. They have been pursuing each other and God for several years and it has been clear that their future marriage will encourage others and glorify God in many ways. 

Sitting in 3-4 wedding this summer (PTL!) I have heard many sermons and seen many ceremonies. With all this driving to and fro, I have begun to think quite a bit about what I have been experiencing lately. 

In most of the wedding "charges" (sermonettes?) that I have been present for, most reflect a Biblical perspective of marriage as being a commitment for life. (See Mark 10:9, 1 Corinthians 7:39 & Romans 7:2-3 for a few examples.) While I completely agree, I think that we (Evangelical Christianity) have dropped the marriage ball and missed the point.  I'm all for life-long marriages, but that is not what defines a good marriage. Having a "Diamond Jubilee" (a 60th wedding anniversary) doesn't mean that you have had a successful marriage. 

The point of getting married is not to stay married. 

Paul explained one purpose of marriage to a group of Christians who lived in Ephesus. (turns out that they were not unlike modern Christians in many ways!) Paul was trying to explain why people would ever submit to one another in marriage and uses the illustration of Jesus and the Church for perspective. (Check out Ephesians 5:22-33) Just as Jesus sacrificed himself (literally) for the people he loves; husbands should put every need of their wives before their own. That's weird and unnatural. Just as Christians do best when we respect and submit to Jesus, wives also are to respect and honor their husbands. That too is weird. Marriage is one of those weird thing that hopefully begs the question of the observant non-Christian... "why?" [insert gospel here]

Moses explained to the children of Israel in Genesis 2:24 how the party first got started. Adam was capable of meeting all his requirements at his 9-5 job but was still missing something. (This passage is the only passage to be quoted 4 times in the Bible) He still needed someone to come along side him to help him be all that God had planned for him to be. God had made Adam to live in community with Eve. To say it another way, marriage is awesome. I am personally in a better place now than 18 months ago when I wasn't married. In fact, when God plans for someone to be single; He personally comes along-side that person and gives them supernatural power to accomplish it. (sometimes called a "spiritual gift;" 1 Corinthians 7:7)

Sadly, many of the sermons that I have recently heard have missed this. 

I would love to have heard my friends describe their desire and passion to towards their future spouses just before they get married. (especially the males ones!) Christ has an even greater desire to be united deeply with all Christians. Christ has a burning passion to know me today better than he did yesterday. (2 Corinthians 11:2 & Revelation 21:9-10)

If people are not looking at how unnaturally my wife and I treat each other, then we are probably doing it wrong. (in other words, we look like every other couple) If I love her well and she respects me well (again, it's weird) then as individuals we will be better off than before. Imagine if I sacrificially romanced Kelli like Noah in "the notebook" or if Kelli valued what matters to me as much as Adrian in Rocky.

As Christians it should be understood that marriages are meant to stay together! Instead of reminding myself to "stick this out, stick this out" in hard times; I need to focus on God who is my only hope anyway. We can't do this outside of God's strength, but with God's empowerment, it's easy. (Matthew 11:30 &1 Corinthians 1:18-2:16) 

The point of getting married is to glorify God.